Get a bigger Christmas boner.
Rid her colon of excess poop.
Launch a volcano into her mouth.
Explode her vagina.
Only you can prevent tiny dong.
Make it wider than your iPhone.
Shoot it on the ceiling.
It won't even fit into her Christmas box.
After you finish, her flesh canoe will be caverness.
Lindsey Lohan will go straight when she sees your gigantic rod.
Sink her flesh kayak with your massive sperm torpedo.
My New Year's Resolution is a bigger boner.
Like the movie Shaft, only it's your penis she's watching.
So big, it will ask you questions.
Put your bluetooth on it now!
If it were any bigger, it would need its own social security number.
Make it blacker, like coffee.
She will name it Goliath.
With that huge load, they will think you were the second gunman.
When she sees it coming, her vagina will call 911.
Turn her box into an echo chamber.
Rip her a new one with your new Christmas tool.
